Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I need to stop coming to work sober
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
