I want to make a zoo with you.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
