My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
