Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can't turn off my feet"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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