Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
