Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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