i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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