we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
