If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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