I bet he comes in French.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Randomize
