You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
