the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
