I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
