is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
