FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
