did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
