he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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