I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
