So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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