she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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