so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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