ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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