BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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