she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
