Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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