It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
