Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
