I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
