Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
