on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
