hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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