Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
