chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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