Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
