dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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