Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
