So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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