Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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