Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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