She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't think brook has ever known best
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
