It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
where are my eyebrows?
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