no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
