Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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