So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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