Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
did i walk over a car last night?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
