david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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