Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
