DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm passing your future prison.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
