they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
