your thong is hanging out like whoa
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
