i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
