Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
