he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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