Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
